I lift my body one leg then another
over the cold curve of
the claw-foot tub
Like a walking stick with a
colossal cocoon attached
A beast and a mutant I
am this
Hooked on the steam of hot water I
Negotiate stretched
skin a sore spine the splitting of imminent birth
What do you want
Mammoth a domemoon
stomach
Carved by spidery trails
former settlement
You in there baby
think you’re ready for this
Sing soprano notes sing
sounds of upness
Says the midwife
She says go ahead
smoke some marijuana you see she’s our
motherherb sacred
medicine not for foolery and
selfishness never to be
used in that other way you know
she works deeply niece
can take care those injuries
bad mister
wrecks he set snaring you
this medicine
will show you the things killing
all of us
----------
This is what’s
necessary I sustain you
You are not ready for
me what is out here
Cruel minds separate small girls
from girlhood
Fists pound your brother’s brains
through the wall
Yellowdrunk eyes from a failed
mind lick every pair of
Breasts in the room
At home the smoke shop the wake the
burial the ceremony the
Indian-taco stand—
I’m done
----------
Just keep sleeping on my mucous
pillow
And don’t push on me
O pouring
bowls of light
I see the horrific truths
The most beautiful lie
Will never fool
Never fool
Never fool
The fool
----------
What will be the venting of this
Where will we be
How will the vault be lifted
A tinny
sound the drip of persistence
Water into water looking for its
level
Always seeking level
No more a drip now a stream
continuous motion
Unified atoms
Pearls cells threads
cries
The house and early night are each
black and black
One a lonesome gaping
mouth the other a safe place
To plan
The real fact of spirit leaving
body
----------
You push to be born fully alive
You press my addiction to the dead
world
Birth me out a muse
----------
Ancestors glide
Landing on the levee where the
DDT petroleum and tobacco
Burned my grandfathers’s
flesh Emiliano and fueled
My mother’s resistance Chata
Ancestors scold
me the lanky child running through
Glossy fields
Crabgrass Indian gum plants
johnsongrass
Waxy from
spraying the continuous spraying
O freedom of the green
revolution O postwar
Stockpiles
O fucking
inheritance of the ethnic poor
O how
we’ve been fucked
----------
I go through the window opening
after opening
Memory buried upon
memory that’s how this appears
Skins
burst unseam and inside these is me
A skinny dark girl with a dark
brain and a dark mind
Seeking the deja-vu
Zone of Time Flow
Outside of fear
O no
one can see me or see what is real
The invasive spray seeping
Follows me and flows in my blood
through decades
To my room and the ease of dark and
sleep
Dreaming how I’ll wage war on my
raiders
O settlers of the empire
O land thieves
O scalpers of my grandfathers
O slave traders of my grandmothers
Books stand like
enemies
Rapists who’ll
conspire to kill me
They wrestle me I
wrestle back kicking their spines
Splitting their black seeds with my
knife the little
Black letters ejaculate from
Their splintered and crushed chaff
My uterus
stops the surging jolt of you
kicking
You will not miscarry
Not one more
Not ever again
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